7 More Reasons Not to Get an iPhone 5

 Someone posted 7 reasons not to get an iPhone 5 on my My Wristwatch Forums.  I'm pretty much anti-smart phone myself.  With the iPhone 5, I pretty much see lose-lose situations all around.  Here are my 7 reasons not to get an iPhone 5, plus a bonus!

1.  Couch Sleeping. If you go to a restaurant with your iPhone 5, you can check the ballgame at will.  Sure, you might learn the score, but there is a pretty good chance that you'll end up sleeping on the couch.

2.  Low Testosterone. The iPhone 5 causes low-T.  I'm sure that every time you ask an artificial woman named Siri for directions, your body will lose testosterone.  You know where the Atlantic Ocean, Pacific Ocean, Gulf of Mexico, Mississippi River, Appalachians, and Rocky Mountains are.  Be a Man!  You are NOT lost.

3. Texting.  The iPhone 5 lets you conveniently send and receive text messages any place and any time.  'Nuff said.  Don't text me.  You are bugging me.  I'll pretty much figure that you are a Nigerian scam artist and ignore anything you send.

4. Crime.  The iPhone 5 makes you more vulnerable to crime.  The iPhone lets you listen to music, watch videos, and text when you should be looking for shifty looking maggots between the ages of 16 and 24.  Ever hear of the "knock-out game?"  If you can't hear due to earbuds and you are involved in something with a gadget, you'll never see what hits you.  Without the iPhone 5, you'll be able to look around and, like Grandpa Simpson, say, "I don't like the looks of those teenagers."

5. They Make You A Prospect.  Smartphones try to sell you stuff.  The iPhone 5 is just another attempt to bring you into an "ecosystem" and sell you stuff that you don't need.  Stuff like ring tones.

6. TV Works Fine.  You can watch a movie on TV.  You can get a 27-inch screen at Goodwill for less than $20.  Why would you watch a movie on your phone?

7. They make you look rich.  The iPhone 5 is the latest, greatest, gadget on the market.  If you get one, your boss will think he pays you more than enough.

Plus, the iPhone 6 will be much better!