Living in a Van Down by the River

When lay offs struck our household, we were lucky not to have to live in a van down by the river.  We managed to execute a strategic withdrawal from a crumbling economy, put our stuff in storage, and move in with relatives.  But, we wonder what it would be like to live in a van down by the river.

 By Omer Simkha [CC-BY-2.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0)], via Wikimedia Commons

How to Live in a Van Down by the River: 

A Plan for Life After the Financial Meltdown 

The American economy is getting pretty scary. With financial portfolios collapsing, a boom in foreclosures, jobs being sent overseas, the looming specter of economic failure, there is a real possibility for unemployment and personal financial disaster. But, look on the bright side; at least we may have time to go camping. In an immortal Saturday Night Live skit, the late comedian Chris Farley once warned kids that they might end up "living in a van down by the river." Now, we might all end up living in vans down by the river. Would it really be so bad to live in a van down by the river?

Living in a van down by the river might be fun. However, you'll have to get some basic supplies together and plan your lifestyle carefully. You'll have to figure out what you'll do each day and what you'll eat. Your living and storage space will really be limited so you'll have to plan very carefully. Fortunately, there have been some classic articles on Stealth Van Living. Stealth van aficionados make it clear that you can make sleeping, cooking, and entertaining possible in the smallest of vehicles.

Personally, if my wife and I were ever to live in a van down by the river, there are a few vital accessories that we would need. First, and foremost, we would need a paid off van. We would be pretty hard pressed to live together with our dog in our little Chevy. Next, we would want a solar shower. A solar shower consists of a 5-gallon black plastic bag that contains water and is heated by the sun. SundanceSolar.com offers a solar shower for about $15. Once the sun heats up the water, you can hang the bag on a pole or tree limb and take a shower. I'd imagine it would be a pretty short shower, but I'd still want one. Even if I lived in a van down by the river, I would want to be able to groom appropriately for a job interview.


Next, I would need a tent. Since living space would be at an absolute premium, it would be nice to have a tent or screened room as a temporary expansion for our humble home. Walmart has an Ozark Trail 12' x 9' polyester dome screen house for only $38.88 online. Other nice screen gazebos sell for less than $100. If you snore heavily, the extra tent would serve the same purpose as a comfortable couch or extra guest bedroom. Target has a Greatland Backpacking tent for only $29.99. You wouldn't need an adjustable rate mortgage to get one.


I would imagine that a van down by the river could get pretty stuffy. In the warm spring and summer months, it could be especially challenging to live in a van down by the river. The Auto Cool Solar Powered Car Fan costs only $15 at TVProducts4Less.com and looks like it might be the perfect accessory for daytime cooling. Since it is solar powered, it would not drain the van battery. Alternatively, a Coolatron 12V car fan would also do a good job of circulating the air. However, it would put a load on the van battery. For real luxury, an auxiliary air conditioner humming away on roof would be best. But, shame on me for being an American and wanting more.


Eating down by the river should pose little problem. As long as the river is relatively clean and contains fish, we should be able to eat. Obviously, if we are going to live in a van down by the river and go fishing, it would be a good idea to select the cleanest possible river. I'd prefer a river in a coast area instead of the local Chattahoochee River. With all due respect to the great country singer, Alan Jackson, that muddy water never meant that much to me. I think a coastal area with marshes and estuaries would provide better opportunities for clamming, crabbing, and fishing. We'd also have to be sure to bring fishing poles, tackle, buckets, coolers, and a camp stove in order to catch our grub. Unfortunately, if we have to live in our little Chevy down by the river instead of a van, we may have to downgrade to Ronco Pocket Fisherman. Fortunately, they are buy one get one free for $29.95 at ronco.com.

It's really diverting to imagine a nice camping trip in a van down by the river, but I think I'd really rather forgo a worldwide economic collapse and a global depression. I've got a fishing pole, but I hope our political and business community leaders don't force me to use it.